Guest Post by Greg: "Pun Intended"

Caitlin and I were driving to Salt Lake City on I-15 a few weeks ago.  Just before we got to our exit, I noticed a Nissan Frontier pickup truck that looked like it had been rear-ended.  The whole tailgate and back side of the truck were dented in.  I turned to Caitlin and said, “It looks like someone decided to press forward against the wild frontier,” as I pointed to the Nissan Frontier.  She looked at it and laughed, not knowing she was about to be the victim of an onslaught of vehicular dry puns.

I decided to go with a western theme to our conversation based on the red Ford sports car that I saw approaching in my rearview mirror.  I said something to the effect of “Ah, the western frontier…Do you know how you can tell you’re in the west?  There’s lots of fresh air and an occasional wild mustang will run past you.”  There was a brief silence while I waited for the red Ford Mustang to pass us.  When Caitlin saw it, she gave me a “that was cheesy” look and laughed.

As we were getting off the exit, I said “You can also tell you’re in the West when you see the sun’s luminous rays shining down on the vast expanses of open land.  It’s a fusion of sky, water, and land that stretches as far as the eye can see.”  Caitlin didn’t catch that we’d just passed a Chevrolet Lumina (luminous rays) and a Ford Fusion (fusion of sky, water and land).  I pointed to the two cars that were stopped at a red light to the side of us.  Caitlin broke up laughing and said that she didn’t know where I came up with the crazy word puns (I call it “wordsmithing”) that I do.

I just said, “You never know what direction I’m going or what my mind is thinking.  It’s almost like you need forensic evidence to decipher what I’m going to say.”  There was a long silence while we waited for the light to turn green.  I made a slight pointing motion out the front windshield.  Caitlin again started to giggle heartily as she realized that stopped at the red light in front of us, was a Suzuki Forenza.

Oh the Feats of Cleats!

Well I'm sure that you just haven't been able to quit thinking about my previous post and have asked yourself for the past two days, What is the difference between softball and baseball cleats?!  And this is what the expert--my darling hubby--said:

"Softball shoes can't have metal cleats.  Baseball shoes can have metal cleats, but they're usually the interior cleats.  Soccer shoes can't have a cleat in the middle at the front.  Football cleats are usually detachable round cleats, and baseball cleats are usually more square or rectangle.  Do you want to know about my other cleats?  I have golf shoes that have rubber spikes because metal ones are no longer allowed on golf courses. I also have some track spikes, which are removable and you can use either pyramids or needles based on whether you're doing a running or jumping event.  I actually have practice and game football cleats, but you don't need to type that."

74 Pairs of Shoes

I found out the other day that there is a difference between softball cleats and baseball cleats.  Where did I discover this useful bit of trivia?  From the man who has both.  And every other pair of shoes you could imagine.

Greg wears a pretty large size and loves a good deal.  Conveniently for him, his size 14 is often on clearance.

He’ll regularly buy four or five pairs for what most people pay for one.  In fact, he’s become so accustomed to finding cheap shoes, that he won’t even consider pairs that aren’t at least half off.  

Recently, he discovered that the largest E-Bay shoe supplier in the country is located nearby, so he made friends with the owner and now gets an even deeper discount on his favorite—Doc Martens.  The latest additions to his collection include a rainbow of colors…maroon, navy blue, forest green and even patent leather gray.

Yes… patent leather gray. 

Just a useful bit of trivia about Greg that I thought you’d like to know.

Bountiful Baskets

We tried something new—Bountiful Baskets.  After picking up our first one, I’ve gotta say I’m a fan!  Not so much a fan of the abundant swiss chard which was included, but of getting two small laundry baskets full of healthy fruits and veggies for only $15… yes. 

I was a little nervous about all the potential surprises included, but it actually had lots of things I would buy at the store in a typical shopping trip—apples, berries, lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, corn, and mushrooms.  Some of the surprises we got were green chiles, the chard, and a bunch of mangoes.  After attempting to peel a banana with a steak knife, we realized that they were a surprise, too!  Plantains!  

And so because we tried something new, we’re trying more new things—like new recipes!   The chile rellenos Sunday night were a huge success—and actually not as tricky as I anticipated!  Greg wanted to try some more new things—like starting a compost pile for those surprises like chard.  But I tried something else new and completely made up a daring new recipe last night… Because in my mind, I couldn’t make chard taste any worse.   And what do you know?  It was delicious!  Here it is…just in case you’re ever lucky enough to inherit a large bunch of chard:

Chard Alfredo Wraps

Ingredients

Turkey Sausage

Green Onion

Garlic

Salt & Pepper

Cooked Rice

Alfredo Sauce

Chard

Romano or Parmesan Cheese

Instructions

Start browning the turkey sausage. Add chopped green onion, salt, pepper, and garlic. Continue to sautee.  Meanwhile, heat up a large pot of water.  When the water starts to boil, place the chard leaves in the water for about 2-3 minutes.  Take the leaves out of the water and set them on a cookie sheet to cool. Add the rice and alfredo sauce to the sausage.   Lay a chard leaf out flat and place a few spoonfuls of sausage mixture in the middle.  Roll it up like a burrito and place it on the cookie sheet.  Continue until you run out of chard leaves or sausage mixture.  Then sprinkle the tops of the wraps with cheese and broil for a few minutes.

Summer Saturdays

We restarted our Summer Saturday Breakfast Tradition this weekend!  We love stopping by Great Harvest on a Saturday morning to grab a couple of slices of fresh bread—which always come with a couple of free ones.  Love that!  And nothing goes better with that delicious bread than fruity smoothies, so of course we grab a couple of those too!  I’m really hoping summer weather starts to make its appearance for more than a few minutes here and there because we’ve been thinking of ideas for our 5^th annual “Summer of Funness List” and we’re ready to start checking them off!